It’s a dog’s life!

Please let it be the barn! Please let it be the barn! Oh no! It’s not the barn…this is the way to the horse show. All my buddies are at the barn. This is so unfair.

I’m going to be stuck on the golf cart all day. If only we’d stopped by the barn, then I could have holed up in the feed room and they might have been running late and left me. There’s always food at the barn – a bit of breakfast burrito if I’m lucky and then if the farrier’s been, a tasty bit of hoof.

But no – it’s the horse show. Best I can hope for is water as long as I don’t tip over the plastic tub. Then I’ve got to look desperate so that a passer by can fill it up. I have had the odd play date at the horse show. There are a couple of down to earth mutts – but there are a lot of other dogs that are either too old – that horse show life will age you quick – or too perfect to play.

Those French dogs act like their superior – just because they got a decent cut from the groomer and not a quick squirt from the hosepipe, which happened to me the day after that whole burrito the groom left out on the table in the tack room.

Barn life is fun. And I got to go to something else the other day where there was a cookout. I couldn’t get out of the truck fast enough. But I had to run across the grass to get to the food and it wasn’t easy with all those horses trying to run me over. I heard a lot of whistling too. I couldn’t figure out if they were whistling for me to come or go, but in the end it sure seemed like they wanted me out of there. There was a white ball flying around too – but I was too set on the food to try catching it.

There’s a rookie at the show today. You can tell. He’s looking round and twitching every time the horn sounds. I’d better give him a few pointers like when they say ‘walk’ it doesn’t actually mean walk. It means going in a place with all these poles everywhere and don’t lift your leg or deposit anything when you’re on the walk. Why? I don’t know but I found out the hard way that it is as unpopular as chasing those horses or barking in the bleachers.

I’ll be napping on the golf cart and dreaming of the barn – nice and peaceful, sleeping in the sun.

Best not lie down in a stall with those horses either. Man they are great and pretty harmless as long as you don’t snap at their heels. But they are huge and you don’t want to get in the way of them and their food at meal time.

They turn in an instant – one minute they are chilling in a corner with their bottom lip flopping, then at the sound of the rattle of a feed bucket, their ears go back and they are not taking prisoners. I never really figured out why they made such a big deal about it. The food I mean.  It’s kinda like the stuff they give rabbits – I know cos I tried some once – and there’s literally no meat. Aside from that, horses are cool and I’ve made some good buddies over the years. They have an easy gig, get way more attention than us dogs do – not that I’m complaining, who wants a hosepipe bath every day?

Horses ain’t that bright and they scare easily. Not like me and my homies. There’s a bunch of us that hang out at the barn. Even the puppies get let off the leash – and every year there’s a new puppy. Sometimes there’s a frisbee or two to chase after and the Jack Russells are always the fastest, with the corgis right behind but with really short legs, so some of us taller guys can get in on the action. Even when you’ve caught it, they never give up and you’d better get the heck out of there before they start yapping and trying to make you drop it.

None of us is the same. There’s a few that have lived on the streets, come from the pound or maybe been picked up on the road. We know we got it good after hearing some of the stories they tell.

Oh no! They’re back and it’s bad news. She’s got a blue ribbon. That means only one thing – we’re off to the Tiki bar. I just hope they order food! And give me some…